New Year's Frustration

Happy New Year! I hope this post finds everyone healthy and well, and that you all had a joyous holiday season.

I've been a little absent when it comes to posting lately because I've been trying to follow the example my parents set for me. You know the old adage, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all?" Yep...that's been my mantra as of late. I can't help it. This time of year, around the holidays and January 1st, frustrate me.

Every year we go from periods of excess and gluttony to periods of complete deprivation and unreasonable starvation. I go from being surrounded by food-pushers to diet-pushers. The one thing they have in common is that, regardless of what they're pushing, they both try to guilt everyone around them into believing and doing as they do. We go from, "What do you mean, you can't try my grandmother's famous peanut butter cookies? You have to try them!" to "You shouldn't eat that. I can't eat that, you know. It's not on my fill-in-the-blank-with-the-hottest-diet-of-the-moment eating plan. "

And, when I was a member of a gym, this time of year used to annoy me to no end. I was there, nearly every day of the year, working my tail off, regardless of a new year's resolution and yet each year, around January 1st, I'd have to battle a bunch of newbies (who would soon burn out) for parking spaces and my turn on the equipment. Thank goodness I now have a small home gym and no longer have to deal with that!

Couple all of this frustration with the general time of year and the cold, gray weather that accompanies it in Northeast Ohio and I can get a little cranky. I miss the sunshine, darn it! I'm starting to feel a little vitamin-D deficient, and I miss my walks! Oh, my lovely, hour-plus walks through the wonderful parks we enjoy here in Cleveland. I miss sitting outside with a good book or a magazine and enjoying the fresh air and the warm breezes. I miss fresh fruits and vegetables from the farmer's market, and grilling my purchases outdoors each night. *sigh*

So yes, I'm frustrated right now. I'm frustrated by people who have yet to realize that diets don't work, and only lifestyle changes do. I'm frustrated by folks who are looking for quick fixes and substitutes for the foods they used to eat. I'm frustrated by people who don't take the time to research scientifically sound plans of eating, and who are too blind to see that big medicine and big food only care about selling pharmaceuticals and the latest junk food they're advertising: they don't care about you, or me for that matter. Yep. I'm frustrated!

So I'm going to keep doing my own thing. I'm going to continue eating healthful, whole foods meals, devoid of processed junk, sugars, grains and starches. I'm going to keep drinking my water, getting my 8 hours of sleep a night, and getting some form of movement every day. And I'm going pray--long and hard--that the next 68 days go really quickly, because--darn it--I'm ready for spring!

-Jen

December 13, 2010: The Day that Should Go Down in History

Today marks a momentous event in my life. I ran for 20 whole, straight minutes. Without stopping. Not even once. Why is this a moment for the history books, you ask? Because at nearly 35 years old I have never even been able to run a mile in my life without stopping. Today I ran almost two.

I was the kid that couldn't pass the Presidential Fitness Test to save her life. I don't even think I ever made it around a full lap of the track in junior high or high school without having to stop for air at least once. And I certainly never made it around enough times to add up to a mile. Not unless I gave up on running and power-walked my way through the challenge.

I ran for 20 straight minutes today, and I could have run longer. I didn't, because I didn't want to overdo it, but I could have. When I stepped on the treadmill tonight with the intent of running for 20 minutes I knew I could do it. I didn't ever have a doubt. And do it I did.

THIS is why I work so hard to maintain my weight loss. THIS is why I say "no thank you" when offered free pizza at work as a thanks for making it in one of the coldest, snowiest days of the year. THIS is what I means to be fit. To feel strong. To use my body the way it was intended. THIS makes it all worth it and more.

Yes, today is a day for the history books. May it be just the first of many in a long line of days to come.

Creative Movement

This week has been a little bit crazy for me. Due to a home improvement project that's been rescheduled once and delayed twice on account of the weather, I've worked from home three out of five days. The upside to this is that I've gotten a great deal accomplished. I'm always amazed by the speed at which I can complete a project with no interruptions! The downsides, however, are twofold. First, I miss the daily personal interaction I have with my co-workers--I'm one of the lucky few who can genuinely say I love the people I work with. Second, I'm having to work a lot harder to get my daily steps in.

See, when I'm at work, it's easy to get my minimum of 10,000 steps a day in. It takes effort, of course. I take the long way around the building to refill my water bottle. I go to the bathroom located the furthest away from my desk. I take the roundabout route, which forces me to climb the stairs to meeting rooms, etc. And, usually, I've accumulated between 4,000 and 5,000 steps by the time I go home in the evening. While this might not sound like a lot, consider how few steps I'd be getting I weren't making such a conscious effort!

You may have figured this out by now, but I have a desk job...a sit on your butt all day and do nothing but type and talk on the phone kind of desk job. Exercise, or movement of any kind, does not happen without a concerted effort. This is exactly why I started wearing a pedometer a few months ago. You can imagine my shock when I discovered, after a typical day in the office, that I'd walked just 1,500 steps over the course of the entire work day! Yep. A concerted effort was exactly what was needed!

Since then, I've been involved in a new routine. A few of my coworkers find my efforts humorous, and they do require a bit more time. Still others wonder what in the heck I'm doing, as they see me looping the building, and in places far from my desk. But, really, what's an extra 30 seconds here and there...besides an extra 200-300 steps!?

So, anyway, I've been working from home for the last few days. And the only place I get less steps in per day than the office is my home office. The bathroom is literally just a few paces away, and I find I need to get up and move less, over all. So I came up with a plan this week: each time I get up to use the bathroom (which is frequently, given my propensity for drinking around 100 oz. a day), I also take the opportunity to run down to my basement, hop on the elliptical machine or the treadmill for two to three minutes, and then come back upstairs to resume my work. The plan is working perfectly, and is helping me achieve the same 4,000-5,000 steps I would normally be taking if I were at work, versus home.

There's no doubt, weight loss and maintenance definitely force us to think and do things a bit more creatively. What tips and tricks do you rely on to keep you on track each day?

Why Travel Makes Me Wiser

My husband and I returned from our vacation yesterday. We went from 80F to 34F in less than three hours and I'm still reeling. I'm listening to the wind whip as I type this, and find myself staring longingly at the picture to the left, which was taken on Grand Cayman, one of the stops on our cruise. *sigh*

Overall, we had a wonderful time. This was my first experience traveling the western Caribbean by sea, and we made stops in Grand Cayman, Cozumel, Costa Maya, and Roatan. The weather was cooperative for the most part (raining only in the morning and evening of our day in Costa Maya) and the snorkeling was fabulous (something we did everywhere except Costa Maya, where we chose to visit the Mayan ruins, instead).

One of the things that always strikes me when traveling is how much I learn about myself. This is partially because one of my favorite aspects of travel is the opportunity to meet new people. Cruising is especially wonderful for this because it gives me the chance to converse with the natives of the countries we visit, as well as those who are cruising with us. This trip was, as usual, a global cornucopia. We shared our dinner table with a couple from Argentina, toured with a couple from Germany and another from Canada, and met others still from the UK, China, and France.

Learning about others and their values and customs has a way of forcing us to reflect upon ourselves. And reflect I did. In fact, I could probably fill a notebook with the myriad thoughts I had throughout the duration of my travels. But because this is a blog that centers on weight loss and maintenance, as well as general health and well-being, I'm going to try to limit my observations from here on out to those areas.

Firstly, I will admit that I gained weight while on vacation this past week and a half. I know because of the way my body feels and how my clothes fit. I don't even need to stand on a scale to confirm this. And, if I had to guess, I'd say that I'm up about 10 pounds. Though this may sound like a lot of weight to put on in nine days time, I'm finding that it's pretty normal for folks who maintain a strict, lower carbohydrate diet 95% of the time. Water weight, especially, comes piling on the minute we introduce foods we normally don't eat into our bodies...even the "healthy" ones. Long-term maintainers will also know that this 10 pounds will likely come off in a matter of days, once I resume my normal way of doing things.

So, what did I learn on this trip?

1) Even though there is no scientific evidence to back it up, my body feels and operates better when I get about 100 ounces of water a day. Besides the fact that it helps keep me feeling fuller, it also tends to help me digest food better and, as a result, helps keep things "moving." It keeps my skin feeling and looking healthier, and it keeps me well-hydrated during workouts and the many outdoor activities I enjoy. Unfortunately, it also keeps me in the bathroom regularly. And, when traveling, you never know when you'll find the next clean/usable bathroom. So I tend not to drink much when we travel. The trouble is, while limiting my water intake keeps me from having to run to the potty every 20 minutes, it also hinders my body's ability to do all of the things I mentioned above. I let my husband talk me out of bringing my trusty water bottle on this trip, too, and I will never leave home without it again. For me, having it by my side all day helps me remember to drink, and helps me keep track of how much I've consumed--all good things.

2) My body loves fresh fruits and vegetables and, typically, the more I consume, the better I feel. Oddly, it is not very easy to find good fresh fruit and vegetables on a cruise ship, never mind, while traveling. Sure, there is almost always melon around, but it doesn't necessarily taste good, nor is it always the best quality. After all, cruise ships purchase their food in bulk knowing they'll need what's on board to last for a set number of days. So while there maybe copious amounts of cantaloupe available, it's often tasteless and its texture is less than palatable. As for vegetables, there's always a fantastic salad bar available at lunch. Unfortunately, we're usually not on the ship for lunch (since we're out exploring the port of the day), and at dinner, vegetables serve as mere garnish for most meals. Needless to say, I was severely deficient in fruits and veggies this week, and my body let me know this in more ways than one.

3) The next time I cruise, I need to meet with the maitre'd and let him/her know my dinner meal preferences so they can work with me to ensure I get grilled (and plain) meats and fish, large servings of steamed or grilled vegetables (preferably not the same ones every night), and fresh fruit (also of differing varieties) each evening. I learned this when, one of my table mates, who is vegetarian, finally complained about the lack of selection available to her, and was told that the maitre'd would work with her every night to have one of the chefs make whatever she wanted (including any special recipe she may have with her!) for the following evening. Lesson learned. I will be much more vocal next time so that I have a better chance of getting what I need.

4) My body needs far less food than it used to. And since I don't eat socially at home any longer, I shouldn't expect it to be able to account for social eating and drinking done on vacation. There were a couple of days, looking back, when I probably ate three times as much food as I would at home on any given day. No wonder I returned home feeling bloated and yucky. And no wonder I had to buy a bottle of Tums at one of the ports we visited. Suffice it to say, I now know how to ask a pharmacist for antacids in Spanish. Huge lesson for me here: if I need antacids, I'm engaging in behavior that's unfriendly to my body!

5) Exercise when traveling, but especially on a cruise, is a cinch. I wear a pedometer regularly, and was shocked to discover how many steps I'd taken each morning before even departing the ship for any excursions we had planned. Between taking the stairs up and down the ship's 15 floors, and regularly shunning the elevators, walking back and forth between the theater, the restaurants, the pool, the gym, and the shops, it wasn't unusual for me to accumulate 10,000 steps a day just getting around. The same was true in the airport, where my husband got a kick out of watching me climb the stairs, while snubbing the escalators and "people-movers." I tallied thousands of extra steps while always arriving at our destination ahead of him, and all while carrying a 10+ pound backpack. Talk about exhilarating!

All in all, it was a great last week and a half. I enjoyed the sunshine and the people and learned a lot about myself. Now it's back to reality. I'll be sticking to meal replacements and supplements for the next few days, while downing my 100 oz. of water, and giving my body a chance to recover and resume my pre-cruise weight. I have at least eight loads of laundry to do in the next couple of days, too, so I'll be logging my steps by climbing the stairs between the laundry room in the basement, and our closets and dressers on the second floor. Lucky for me, there's a clean and welcoming bathroom on each and every level.

In Praise of Meal Replacements

My husband and I began the first leg of our vacation today, traveling from Cleveland to West Palm Beach, Florida. In the process, I was reminded how grateful I am for meal replacements--especially when traveling.

Instead of having to choose between bagels and donuts for breakfast at the airport, I enjoyed a nice protein bar with my coffee this morning. Then, when hunger set in around 10:30 a.m. I poured 8 oz of water into my Blender Bottle, added the contents of a protein shake, and shook my way to a satisfying snack that held me over until 1p.m. Later, when our flight was delayed and we had to wrangle with the car rental facility about a price adjustment, putting us into our final destination much later than planned, another protein bar saved the day.

You see, in any one of those situations, had I not been prepared by having the right snacks on hand, the combination of hunger, fatigue and frustration might have led me right into the arms of Ronald McDonald. But, because I know the incredible importance of having quick, healthy options on hand when traveling, today's events barely required a second thought. There's some real truth in the statement that if you "fail to plan, you plan to fail." Thankfully, my mindful planning paid off today.

We'll see how well I can apply these lessons over the next week as I prepare to board the ship we'll be cruising on tomorrow. I look forward to sharing more with you all when I return in seven days time.

In the meanwhile, safe travels as you navigate this tangled path to maintenance. It is, as they say, "a jungle out there."

Cleaning House

Perhaps one of the trickiest things about this weight loss and maintenance gig is trying to figure out which foods you can allow into your diet, and which ones you can’t. It’s tricky because you have to stay on top of things. A nibble of something may not cause you any harm, but a handful might. And you have to be prepared to retreat and go running in the other direction when you find those things that really shouldn’t be a part of your daily life.

I’ve had a couple of these experiences lately. For a while now I’ve suspected that nuts in limited quantities (such as on a salad in a restaurant) are just fine for me, but that in more robust quantities (Costco-sized package of walnuts, anyone?!) they could be really dangerous.

You see, I don’t have an “off-switch” when it comes to nuts. Though they’re not bad for you in limited quantities, handfuls of them add up quickly—especially in terms of calories and fat. And, before anyone suggests it, pre-portioning them or buy pre-packaged portions doesn’t work for me. It’s still just too darned easy to pad back into the kitchen and rip open another bag, take another handful, etc.

A few nights ago, I found my hand in the raw pecans one too many times. Before I knew it, I’d easily devoured the equivalent of over a half a cup. I keep my nuts and seeds in the freezer to ensure their freshness, and to make it that much harder for me to snack on them, and yet I still found myself wearing a path to the refrigerator.

Since this isn’t the first time this has happened, I made a decision. The nuts had to go. I took stock of how many I had in the freezer, and when I realized there weren’t enough to bother passing them off to someone else, I took action. I opened each bag and dumped them into the trash. Done.

Then, last night, I had a similar experience. I haven’t experimented much with dried fruit since adopting this new way of eating last year. But lately, with the holidays approaching, there’s been a lot of it around. Of particular interest to me were some dried apricots and organic black mission figs (which if you’ve never had one, are much like the inside of a Fig Newton...minus the cookie, of course).

A few days ago, I opened the figs and enjoyed four of them—one serving’s worth—as an after dinner treat. Afterward, I found myself craving more of them. “Unusual,” I thought, “as I’m normally plenty satisfied after eating a piece of fresh fruit.” I don’t, for example, find myself pining for another apple after I’ve already polished one off. But I let it go.

The next day, I found myself battling a bit of an urge for something sweet. Again, this is something I normally don’t struggle with at all. “Could it have been the dried fruit?” I wondered. There was no way of knowing for sure, but I was pretty certain I’d identified my culprit. Last night I confirmed my worst fears.

Following dinner, I attempted the same experiment. I placed four figs in a little dish and began eating them. “Mmmm.…” I thought. “These are fantastic. Sweet, soft, delicious…gone!” What? How could that be?! “But there were just four in the dish!” Then I rationalized with myself. “Well, a few more couldn’t hurt, right?” Uh-oh. Warning bells went off in my head. “Danger! Danger, Will Robinson!”

Now, remember, dried fruits are a very concentrated source of both sugar and calories. Still, I went back to the package for a few more. As I was devouring the second batch I realized something: You see, one of the things I’ve learned about myself is that I have this little switch in my brain. As long as this switch stays in the off position, I remain in control of my cravings and my eating behavior. But if that switch gets flipped on? Look out world! I lose all control, including the ability to think rationally about anything, which usually leaves me sitting with an empty package of something and a huge stomachache, wondering, “what in the heck just happened?!”

I’ve also learned that consumption of what Dr. Berkeley refers to as “’S’ foods,” or sugars and starches, are largely responsible for the flipping of this switch. And guess where those dried figs fall? Yep….squarely in the S food category. Sure, the sugars are natural in a dried fig. But they’re still sugars.

I snapped to, and realized I needed to do something. I could feel that imaginary finger on my switch, just waiting to flip it on. While I wished I’d realized this before devouring another three or four servings of figs last night, at least I realized it! This, folks, is a HUGE win for me, and, I’d venture to say, for most of us in this weight loss and maintenance game. After all, you can’t do something about a problem if you don’t know you have it.

Needless to say, this morning the remaining figs are resting in the bottom of my trash can. And me? I’m only a little worse for the wear. After suffering from a little stomach distress last night—yes, our bodies are sometimes smarter than our brains!—I’m still not feeling quite myself. But if the worst thing that comes out of this is a little gas and a slight increase on the scale, I’d argue that I’ve still come out ahead.

How about the rest of you? What are your “switch-flipping” foods, and how do you handle the process of learning what you can and can’t allow into your home or your diet?

Meet Our Bloggers: Jen C.

Jen is no stranger to weight loss…or weight gain. For over 25 years, she’s been trying to lose weight and keep it off. “My mom put me on my first real ‘diet’ in the eighth grade, but I knew I had a weight problem even before that. Looking back at the pictures from elementary school, I’m actually surprised no one tried to help me lose weight sooner.”

She lost about 20 pounds during this first attempt, and managed to keep it off for around a year before a growth spurt and a move from their home in Europe, back to the United States, in 1991 reversed that trend. “The combination of naturally gaining some weight due to normal teen causes, and the reintroduction of fast and junk food that I hadn’t eaten for almost five years really did a number on me, she says.” I went from about 117 pounds to 140 in that one summer, alone.

Unfortunately, a steady diet of French fries and Nutty Bars in the high school cafeteria didn’t help this cause, and by the time she graduated in 1994, Jen weighed around 160 pounds.

“I started college with the best of intentions,” she says, “but found myself eating very large amounts of food I normally wouldn’t have given a second thought.” Cookies and ice cream at lunch and dinner, along with very little fresh produce, a serious case of home sickness, and late-night study sessions (which often involved a call to Papa Johns) just worsened the situation. “Most folks joke about gaining the ‘Freshman 15,’ she says, but I put on something closer to the ‘Freshman 20.’” And it only got worse. By the time she graduated from college in 1994, Jen weighed in at 194 pounds, and found herself engaged in frequent binge eating behavior. “I can’t explain it,” says Jen. “I would just find myself alone in my dorm room, eating everything in sight. It was always in secret, because I was so embarrassed by my behavior. And no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t get it under control.” Donuts, crackers, candy, and cookies…the weight gain continued.

It wasn’t until Jen was out of college for about of year, and her weight reached an all-time high of 218 that she felt she had to do something. She obtained a prescription for the weight loss drug, Meridia. “It worked like a miracle for me,” says Jen, “but I was constantly worried about developing high blood pressure or some other side effect.” Eventually, after losing about 25 pounds, Jen stopped taking the drug, returned to her old habits, and began to regain the weight.

In 2003, shortly after the South Beach Diet was first published, Jen was encouraged by her parents to go on the diet with them. Her mother, who has never had a huge weight problem, wanted to drop a few pounds, and her father, who suffers from many of the same issues Jen does, wanted to drop close to 100. Together they embarked on this new plan, which proved hugely successful for them all. “I lost a solid 40-plus pounds,” says Jen, “and for the first time in my life, I really felt great. I was enjoying my exercise regimen more, and had no trouble following the plan to a ‘T.’”

In the summer of 2004, however, Jen moved from the city that she’d called home for 10 years, and found herself relying on more fast and processed foods out of convenience. “At first the effects were very minimal,” she says. But then, the more I started meeting people and going out for drinks, meals, etc. the more I started to fall back into my old habits.” Steadily, the weight crept back on from 180 to 190…200…210….

When she and her fiancé got engaged in 2005 she’d topped out at 218 again. “I still can’t bring myself to look at the pictures from that night,” she says. They’re in a box somewhere in my attic, which is a pretty sad statement. What should have been one of the happiest moments of my life wasn’t because I felt too fat.”

Desperate to lose the same 40 pounds again, Jen consulted a doctor about doing a Protein Sparing Modified Fast (PSMF) before her wedding. “It had worked for a friend,” she says, “and I was pretty sure it would work for me.” The plan did work…for a while. “I lost somewhere in the neighborhood of 25 pounds before I just couldn’t bring myself to follow the plan any more. Yes, I wanted to be thinner, but I also wanted to enjoy my life, too. A diet full of nothing but lean meat and half-cup servings of vegetables just wasn’t cutting it. I wanted to enjoy a plate of broccoli or a piece of fruit on my terms.” She continued to work out for an hour and a half a day and counted calories diligently until her wedding in September 2006. The result was an additional 20 pound loss.

“But it didn’t last long,” Jen says. “The minute we flew out for our honeymoon, all bets were off. I put on 15 pounds in just those two weeks alone. And, sadly, one of the things I remember most about our honeymoon was the horrible, bloated, over-full feeling I had most of the time we were there.” Jen’s weight did hold fairly steady for a while, but then it slowly began to creep back up. “We were eating out regularly; I’d stopped getting up early every morning to work out. It was just a recipe for disaster.” Jen settled in around 215 and then real disaster struck.

In February 2009, Jen’s mom was admitted to the hospital with what turned out to be life threatening complications from a ruptured bowel. She’d go on to spend six weeks in the hospital, and endure a total of three procedures before finally being deemed healthy enough to go home. “What happened to me and my dad is what happens to so many caretakers,” says Jen. “We stopped taking care of ourselves so we could take care of her. We were eating fast food two, maybe three times a day; drinking all of those flavored coffee drinks, and eating things like cereal and toast for dinner so we didn’t have to cook. We were also constantly exhausted. We’d get up at 5:30 a.m. and spend from 6:30 a.m. to 7:30 p.m. each night at the hospital before coming home, falling into bed and starting all over again.” Jen’s weight, and her dad’s, continued rise. “By the time Mom was well enough for me to go home,” Jen says, “I was at a new all-time high of 224 pounds.”

At home, she worked hard to get back on track, improving her diet and exercising again. She’d seen the effects of both good health and bad first-hand, and knew she needed to do something. She and her husband took a much-needed vacation together, walking around and exploring Europe for hours on end. Near the end of their trip, however, Jen started experiencing severe pain in both of her feet. “I’ve never felt anything like it,” she says.  “It was this intense, burning pain that felt like it would never stop and literally brought me to tears.” That pain turned out to be plantar fasciitis.

The plantar fasciitis eventually became so crippling that Jen couldn’t even stand in the kitchen long enough to prepare a meal. In August 2009 she sought the help of a podiatrist who began a course of treatment that would eventually heal her feet and return her to a more normal state of affairs. But as her hopes for a recovery rose, so, too, did her weight. “I couldn’t walk or do any kind of physical activity,” Jen says. “So eating became the only thing I could do, and even when I was careful about my intake, the scale just continued to go up. I couldn’t believe the numbers I was seeing. They were in the 230s…a place I swore I’d never go.”

One day, in October 2009, Jen stumbled across Dr. Berkeley’s name on a website she frequented. “What appealed to me was Dr. Berkeley’s use of lower carbohydrate weight loss techniques. I knew that the closest thing I’d ever seen to success was my time on the South Beach diet,” she says. “And, by now, I’d realized that I couldn’t do this alone. I was tired of finding myself in the throes of a binge; of feeling helpless, fat and unhealthy. Every other aspect of my life was great. I had a wonderful family and home life, great friends, and a good job. I was a well-rounded person who was generally happy with life. But this had held me back for too long, and after developing the plantar fasciitis, which was no doubt related to the extra pounds I was hauling around, I decided that I had to do something about it.”

On October 22, 2009, weighing 236 pounds, Jen began working with Dr. Berkeley and her staff, and she hasn’t looked back. “Thanks to their support and the incredible understanding I’ve gained of my own body and how certain food substances affect it, I’ve lost just shy of 80 pounds.” Now 157 pounds, Jen is working to maintain what she’s lost so far, and still hopes to lose a little more. “Another 15 to 20 pounds would be great,” she says, “but I know now that this is a process I only have so much control over. My biggest goal is to keep everything I’ve lost off, and to sustain this new lifestyle from here on out.”

“One of the most important things to me,” says Jen “is that what I’m doing isn’t just some fad or crash diet plan. It’s a way of life that has allowed me to incorporate the things I really believe in, such as organic, local and sustainable agriculture, and eating a whole foods diet. It’s also helped me to see that the struggles I’ve had with overeating and binge eating for so many years aren’t my fault. They’re not due to a lack of will power or some emotional weakness, but rather are a direct result of a biochemical response my body has to addictive substances in the Standard American Diet, such as sugars and starches. I hope that my participation in Dr. Berkeley’s maintainers group and in this blog helps someone else who may be struggling with similar issues. I want them to know that they’re not alone and that, with some effort, there is a way out.”